Factual · Powerful · Original · Iconoclastic
Oh, no! "Study: global warming boosts poison ivy," declares the Associated Press headline. "Another reason to worry about global warming: more and itchier poison ivy," reads the lede. Having had a couple of nasty brushes (literally) with the stuff, that's all I need to know. Not. If you get past the headline and lede, you find out that what's going to cause this awful blossoming isn't global warming at all but rather increased atmospheric carbon dioxide (CO2). There is a connection, in that global warming advocates claim that C02 emissions are the chief culprit in making the earth hotter. But that's like looking at a decaying animal and declaring the cause of death was flies. Moreover, there's no special relationship between CO2 and poison ivy. Increases in CO2 make all plants grow faster and healthier. So yes, poison ivy and poison oak and kudzu all benefit from increased atmospheric C02. But so do rain forests, fruit trees, crops, and flowers. Indeed, as we've seen from previous warm periods such as the medieval one, global warming directly benefits crops by extending growing seasons and allowing crops in places previously to cold to even allow them. But if you're waiting for an AP headline like: "Study: Global Warming Boosts Production of Food and Forest," hell will freeze over first.