Welcome to the second installment of Michael Fumento’s hate mail. If you haven’t already read the disclaimer, please do so.

These letters are not for the faint of heart. You may wish to view something more genteel – like one of those “Faces of Death” videos showing people actually being killed.

If you insist upon reading on, note that in this set all responses are as originally sent to the hate mail writer. Well, in a lot of cases the term “writer” perhaps doesn’t apply, but you get the point.

ENVIRONMENTALIST HATE

Tabacco and Plastic Addititives

I suppose you think the poor tabacco [sic] companies got a raw deal and all those people who got ill or died from lung cancer were a bunch of sissies with bad genes. You know, the tabacco [sic] companies were ALSO able to find ( I mean fund) any number of studies that showed no relation between smoking and lung cancer. I’ve been doing research for some time on xenoestrogens [synthetic chemicals that allegedly disrupt the body’s hormones] and plastic addititives [sic]. Who’s funding YOU is my question.
L.A.

Dear L.A.,
Actually I think the bad genes went to the people who do pseudo-scientific research in a desperate effort to prove that all man-made chemicals are evil, especially those researching things they can’t even spell. Having lost the battle to convince the public that everything synthetic causes cancer, they now make the similarly groundless claim that everything synthetic is a harmful xenoestrogen, causing human health problems, withered willies on anxious alligators, and creating lesbian seagulls who strut around wearing butch haircuts and tennis shoes. Who dresses you in the morning is my question.
M.F.

AMERICORPS HATE

Annie Likes Spending Our Daddy Warbucks

Regarding, “Time to Make AmeriCorps a Corpse,” how can you have a negative atittude [sic] about somthing [sic] that finally does some direct good for the people of our country. To say that this program is a waste of money is to say that the poor, the needy, and our home environment do not diserve [sic] tax-payers [sic] money. Please rationalize that to me.
Annie

Dear Annie,
Let’s see. You take taxpayer money and buy me a car. (A Dodge Viper would do nicely, thanks). Then say that you’re doing it in the name of the poor, the needy, and our home environment – whatever that is. Meanwhile, a lot of those taxpayers chipping in for my speedster are barely able to make ends meet themselves. Please rationalize that to me.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Yes I will rationalize. If your hypothetical automobile in any way makes life better for someone less fortunate, helps the people of north carolina [sic] rebuild their LIVES, gives the lonley [sic] children of this country some one [sic] guide them [sic] [sic] and help them with school work. If your car protects and rebuilds our HOME environment, (for those who can not understand, the geological and biological reality that is the United States) how can you criticize government spending on these issues when we live in a time when we send billions of dollars of aid to forgein [sic] countries for the exact same thing. So your rational [sic] is that our country does not need this aid. I think the majority of taxpayers would disagree. If you are so worried about people like myself who make ends meat [sic] then imporove [sic] our country; not everyone else’s.

Actually, what we spend on foreign aid is a small fraction of what we spend on transfer programs, those that take money from the people who earned it and give it to those who did not. But that seems to not bother you. In any case, my receiving a Viper is actually probably more likely to do all the things you name than funding AmeriCorps. At least building, selling, and servicing cars provides real jobs. AmeriCorps is nothing but a government-run charity.

If you think the majority of taxpayers support it, then let them do so in the way they support the United Way or the Salvation Army, rather than force each and every taxpayer to contribute to your pet cause? You also engage in the tired old liberal game of comparing new programs not with similar old programs but with their potential. Then once the program has gone on long enough to be judged on its own merits, you still insist upon measuring it by its potential. Sorry, but the "Dawning of the Age of Aquarius” came and went without Aquarius ever arriving. AmeriCorps and its defenders belong in an old trunk, next to love beads, smiley buttons, and bell-bottoms.

Merits you say. Or what you are hinting to lack of Merits. [sic] Upon request I will Fax [sic] you the complete resume [Of what?] and you can hold your dollar amount next to it and compare. [Compare what?] Then tell me with your concren [sic] for wasted taxpayers [sic] money if it has merit. I suggest you take a look at what the program has done before you critcize [sic]. ANd [sic] don’t [sic] tell me you have because you are already set on it being wastful [sic]. Tell the people whos [sic] lives americorps [sic] has changed that it was a waste of money. How can you stand yourself. Do something constructive instead being [sic] a blood sucking [sic]; lets [sic] see jounalist [sic] and lawyer. GO FIGURE

Okay Annie, this is my last message. First, thanks for informing me that “blood sucking” is a noun. Second, though it will probably cost taxpayers about $20,000, please get one of those AmeriCorps people to show you how to use your spelling and grammar checkers.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

AIDS HATE

A Pie in the Face

So this is where Michael Fumento is hiding. Fumento comments on a very sad trend in disease research funding. Nowhere does he admit that what really needs to be done is make the funding ‘pie’ larger. Then there would not be so much of a need for these lobbies for scarce resources.

AIDS activists pointed this out in the 80's but maybe Fumento wasn’t listening – he still seems to have a ‘chip’ on his shoulder about AIDS funding etc.

I was surprised at the lack of intellect and understanding of funding criteria at the NIH [National Institutes of Health] and the history of NIH funding. It is disingenuous to talk about current funding levels for individual diseases, death rates etc. without also looking at the cumulative NIH spending for individual diseases. Cumulative spending totals would tell a different tale. But really this fight over who’s getting how much now is unseemly and in fact a diversion.

Like those who have a shallow knowledge of research issues he presumes that all research is mutually exclusive. It’s not. Research, like life itself, ain’t that simple Michael. There is an enormous amount of cross-pollination. Take AIDS research. AIDS isn’t a single disease. It is a syndrome which unleashes a slew of diseases. Cancers, diseases of the eye, brain, heart, respiratory system and ad infinitum. Research accrues across the board into many other ‘disease’ groups.

It is a waste of time to really explore this any further with such a superficial and worn out treatise as Fumento continues to peddle.
Peter [omitted]

Dear Peter,
I’ve come out of “hiding” to respond to your inanity. In my writings on the unfairness of diseases getting research funds not on objective standards but rather on the basis of whose activists squeal the loudest, I repeatedly deal with your tired old “let’s just make the pie bigger” argument. And my response is always the same. No matter what the size of the pie, it doesn’t address the underlying issue of who should get how much of it. If AIDS is getting several times the money as a disease that kills far more people and you double the pie, guess what? The ratio doesn’t change. Triple the size of the pie, right Peter? Guess what? The ratio doesn’t change. The unfairness always remains the same.

“Cumulative spending” is another game the AIDS activists play. Obviously, it favors them since AIDS wasn’t discovered until 1981. Okay, let’s play. Hepatitis C wasn’t discovered until just a few years ago, prior to which it simply fell under the category of “non-A, non-B hepatitis.” So let’s strip the AIDS budget until hepatitis C reaches parity. Didn’t think you’d care much for that, eh Peter?

Yet another game I’ve dealt with for over a decade now is “Look at all the spinoffs we might get from AIDS research.” True, we did get Teflon and Velcro as spin-offs of the space program – though on the other hand we also got those horrible “Space Food Sticks.” But I don’t believe that JFK called for a manned mission to the moon by the end of the decade in order to discover non-stick surfaces for pots and pans. The rule is, if you want to learn more about a given disease, you increase the funding and researchers for that disease. You don’t triple the influenza budget to find a cure for Alzheimer’s. And again, the game can readily be reversed. Fact is, the first successful anti-viral for AIDS, AZT, was developed as a cancer drug. So why don’t we cut the AIDS budget in half, move that half over to cancer, and hope to discover some more AIDS drugs?

Sorry, Peter, but your arguments come across for what they are – the little boy who wants slices of cake doled out to his class based on alphabetical order because his name is Andrew Adams.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

MULTIPLE CHEMICAL SENSITIVITY HATE

Perfume Pap

Message text written by “Cybersojourner”:
In response to your article “New Syndrome? Or More Silliness?” you are entitled to your ignorance.

In addressing your comment that MCS [multiple chemical sensitivity – basically being sickened by all things man-made or all things your MCS doctor told you should be making you ill] is psychological and not physical, may I counter by asking your majority of toxic skunk juice wearers about their own mental health profile. If we must be Freudian, then how old were you when you needed to replace [I think she means “begin using”] toxic benzene derivatives with hormonal activity and why should I be forced to inhale profuse, debilitating odors so you can smell “pretty?”

In the work place it’s vanity vs. health.

Get an MSDS [material safety data sheet] on your favorite skunk juice. Those chemicals are toxic and unhealthy whether I'm a screaming looney or not.

Dear Screaming Looney,
I think I was about 15 when I decided I needed to replace toxic benzene derivatives with hormonal activity, but I can’t say it’s ever been my intention to smell “pretty”. As it happens, most of us have preferences. We might prefer one color over another, one type of car over another, one way of wearing clothes over another. That’s not usually called vanity. Your health claims have as much scientific backing as if you said that my wearing ties in the workplace made you ill. Why should I be forced to stop wearing ties because you’ve become convinced they make you sick? And why is it that the people actually putting these “toxic” chemicals right onto their skin day after day don’t have toxic reactions, but people like you who so much as catch a whiff go into spasms and write silly e-mails?

I suggest you do some more interacting (or “sojourning” as it were) with live human beings – yes, even those vicious fragrance-wearers – and spend less time cybersojourning. Though I grant you that living in cyberspace gives the rest of us one advantage. To paraphrase the advertising line from the movie “Alien”: In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Thirty years ago cigarette smoking was not considered hazardous. It was a matter of preference such as the tie that you spoke of in your response. Today we know smoking can injure your health. This is based on scientific evidence which was covered up for profits.

Dear Cyb,
Gad, I don’t know how often I hear this false syllogism: "We were told smoking wasn’t bad for us and that was a lie. Now we’re told [fill in the blank] is not bad for us, therefore that, too, is a lie.”

1. People have known for centuries that smoking causes illness. In 1604 King James I of England declared tobacco “dangerous to the lungs;” in the 18th Century doctors had already connected tobacco to certain cancers; and the term “coffin nail” for cigarette goes back to 1888.

2. Why don’t you also point out that for many centuries, "bad air" or "miasma" was thought to spread contagious disease – from malaria (which literally means "bad air,") to cholera to plague. These were all much more widely accepted than your MCS theories and all were wrong. And like your MCS theories, desperate attempts to substantiate them scientifically were often originally heralded as successful but later ripped to shreds by scientists.

LOVE CANAL HATE

Clear, Incontrovertible, and Just Plain Dumb

Dear Mr. Fumento,
I found your web page on Love Canal to be quite misinforming . . . . Lois Gibbs went door to door in the tested neighborhoods and found that 1 in 15 pregnancies resulted in miscarriage or still births. There were 7 crib deaths on 99th street [sic] alone. I’m not sure if this is considered normal where you live sir, but I most certainly would consider this evidence to be clear and incontrovertible, those people were subjected to unsafe levels of chlorinated inorganic and organic hydrocarbons.

First, a miscarriage and still birth are the same thing. Second, a crib death, better known as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or “SIDS”, has nothing to do with either. It seems obvious that a child that dies in a crib was born alive. Finally, on average, 15% of all recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage or still birth. That's about one in 6.5. You’re saying that Gibbs found a rate of one in 15. Therefore, you appear to be arguing that something to which people at Love Canal were exposed had a protective effect against miscarriage. I find that theoretically possible but highly implausible. Whatis plausible, indeed incontrovertible, is that you just have an axe to grind. That’s why of all the exposures – voluntary and involuntary – which Love Canal residents shared, you latched onto “chlorinated inorganic and organic hydrocarbons” even as others have latched onto their favorite scapegoat chemicals to explain a health problem that never was.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

GULF WAR SYNDROME (GWS) HATE

Demons of the Mind

Sender: DEMONCHASER@webtv.net
Greetings:
You and your kind are a disgrace and also a dishonor to the sick and dying Gulf War Veterans [sic] that answered the call to serve this Country [sic]. Either you are a media whore or a [sic] intellectual whore hired by the traitors in the government as a pundit whose sole purpose is to spread misinformation. In your futile attempt to disregard the facts about Gulf War Disease [sic] you have also made it crystal clear that you are devoid of all truth.
Thanx, [name omitted]
President
Native American Gulf War Veterans Organization

Greetings:
I've noted that your e-mail name is "DEMONCHASER," which is quite appropriate since you and all the other GWS advocates are doing exactly that–chasing demons in your mind. Please accept my apologies that most of us have better things to occupy our time.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Just Call Me Angel of the Mourning . . .

Let me point you in the right direction obviously [sic] you never felt the aftermath of war and the nightmares that surround it!

My name is Angel [omitted] i [sic] am one of those gulf [sic] war vets that suffer from the syndrome. it is easy to critisize [sic] when you never picked up anything other than a pen in the defense of your country. it [sic] is also easy to critisize [sic] when you were eating steak and potatoes when i [sic] was eating dehydrated food in the desert defending your sorry ass. i [sic] was there, i [sic] had to burn sheep carcases [sic] so we wouldnt [sic] contract anthrax, I HAD TO BURN FECES SO WE WOULDNT [sic] GET SICK! AND I HAD TO SLEEP NEXTR [sic] TO A MORGUE AND WATCH MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN CARRIED IN. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT THIS ILLNESS IS IMAGINARY! I AM THE ONE NOT YOU THAT HAS TO GO THROUGH MEMORY LOSS, GASTEROL [sic] INTESTINAL DISCOMFORT, LOSS OF BREATH AND FATIGUE AMONG OTHERS ! [sic] YOU GUTLESS YELLOW BASTARD I DARE YOU TO STAND IN FRONT OF WAR VETS AND SAY WHAT YOU WROTE! YOU WOULD [sic] WALK OUT OF IT ALIVE!

Dear Angel,
Ever hear of the movie “I’m No Angel,” Angel?

As to never picking up anything other than a pen, each piece I do on GWS indicates I was a vet. I picked up and lugged a variety of weapons, and served in units where gutless yellow bastards either didn’t join or had the tar beat out of them till they quit. I must admit that I never burned feces; though I can see why you were assigned the job. I’m also a bit confused over this argument of yours that somebody had to have served in the Gulf – even if his biggest claim to fame was burning sheep sh** – to be able to comment on it. Extended logically, that would mean that about 95% of our history books would be burned. And I’ll bet you’d be right there to light the match, eh?
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Is That Anything like “Raging Bull”?

Michael Fumento working for Reason Online is a US Government dis-information [sic] specialist and a raging asshole. Read don [sic] Scott's book(s) and you will see where dick heads like Fumento come from.
Sincerely,
James H. [omitted]
MMCM(SW) USN Retired 1964-1992

Dear James,
Actually, I haven’t worked for the government since 1987 (the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights) and my only previous work was as an Army enlisted man. But I know how this paranoia stuff works. By the way, I see you joined the service in 1964. No wonder we lost in Vietnam.
Sincerely,
Agent 268543
U.S. Government Disinformation Corps
Motto: “We get our highs from telling lies!”

We lost in Vietnam because we had leaders like Clinton trying to run the war from the White House and traitors like Nancy Sinatra along with the hippy generation who are now our leaders in Government!

If you are a liberal, you probably feel good now. But who will fight in your next war . . . . women and those who hide behind desks in Washington?

Other than the fact that by “Nancy Sinatra” you mean Jane Fonda, I agree. Sinatra went to entertain the troops and kept her mouth shut on politics, as all entertainers should.

I'm a conservative who believes the first priority of a national government is defense. I also believe that most service people realize their job is a bit more dangerous than teaching kindergarten.

I was an airborne engineer, whose job it was to land BEFORE the 82nd Airborne Division so they'd have a place to drop. We all knew that war with the Soviets meant certain death for us and we accepted it.

It sickens me to see flower children like Clinton pull out of Somalia after taking 18 casualties and inflicting 500, or fighting a war from three miles up for fear of risking a single man.

It sickens me to see a government obsessed with transferring money from people who work to people who don’t work has let defense slide so much it takes us three weeks to transfer 24 choppers about 1,200 miles. But what affect do you think the GWS nonsense is going to have on the military?

I'll give you a wonderful example. Not long before the Kosovo war, 9 A-10 pilots resigned at the same time rather than take an anthrax shot. Why? Because anthrax shots are one of the 2 dozen fad theories as to the cause of a disease that doesn’t exist called GWS. So if you’re worried about national defense, maybe you'd better worry a bit more about the affect that scare-mongering is having on enlisting and retaining good troops.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Yeah, Jane Fonda was the one I meant. We agree on everything but GWS. That is not too bad. I think we can agree to disagree though. Have a nice day.
Jim

Dear Jim,
You, too. Thanks for serving our country during two wars.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

I’ve Been Thanked for a Lot of Things Before, but . . .

I believe you should be the first (Journalist??) To [sic] receive the SKUD [sic] EMMY. Some of the best negative reproting [sic] that I have seen. Thank you for your shit. Would you also report that Jane Fonda was never in Korea?
[omitted]
Dir of Legislation, Dept of AL
312 Daye Street
Madison, AL 35758

Yes, I would report that – were there any need. You’re obviously referring to a letter I sent somebody in your news group in which I stated that when he said Nancy Sinatra was a traitor he meant Jane Fonda. I said that Sinatra, to the contrary, entertained the troops during the war, that Jane Fonda was the traitor. You, in your infinite wisdom, took that to mean she was never in Vietnam. I think this GWS stuff shrinks the brain while increasing the size of the mouth. You apparently are also under the impression Fonda was a traitor during the Korean War and I’m too stupid to know that. Problem is, Fonda was a child during that war. Whatever the department of AL is, they must have been desperate to promote their janitor to the Director of Legislation.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

In Which I Discover I Have a French Name

Michael Fumentois [sic],
Gee.... No wonder you are against US Veterans - you and your Associates [sic] have made Billions [sic] off us and our illness. 26 Million Veterans [sic] do not find your kind of humor funny. The Old Days [sic] of you hoodwinking the American People [sic] are over.

You should at least say who you are and not hide behind Foundation [sic] names.

Let us just review a little bit of who you really are and why you deliberately trashed our most recent heroes that served in the Gulf.

Next time you look to deliberately harm US Vets [sic] then you’d better not leave your “Foundations” [sic] exposed.

26 Million can also play the ‘Intelligence game’.
Kevin [omitted]
Captain, USAR

[The good captain attached what he considered an exposé of the foundation that supported me while I was at Reason magazine and wrote one of my myriad GWS pieces. In fact, it was merely a list of groups to which the foundation gave money and was amazingly innocuous. Even the best foundations can mistakenly give money to flaky causes, but you couldn’t tell that by the captain’s list.]

Dear Captain Crunch:
It’s very enlightening to know that 26 million vets elected you their spokesman. Funny thing though, since I’m one of them and I certainly wouldn’t have cast my ballot for an alleged Reserve officer who thinks that because “billions” is a big number it should be capitalized. The fact is, a lot of those vets have said that people like you have more than one screw loose. As for “hiding behind Foundation names,” your very ability to refer to the foundation you did indicates that I didn't hide behind it at all, but stated quite clearly that they were supporting me at the time I wrote the piece in question. They were not doing so when I wrote all my other pieces on the subject.

By the way, with “26 million playing the intelligence game,” how did you get left out?
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Mucho Loco

Message from MUCHOMIO@ISP omitted]
wHAT DID YOU DO HIDE IN THE BACKROUND [sic] WHILE REAL MEN DID THE FIGHTING ? I SEE CAPT [sic] KEVIN EXPOSED YOUR LITTLE HUMOROUS ARTICLE! THE ONLY THING I SEE IS YOU LINEING [sic] YOUR POCKETS WITH GRANT MONEY! YOU HAVE TO DEBUNK THE VETS IN ORDER TO KEEP THAT FOUNDATION DOE [sic] FLOWING! I WOOULD [sic] CHANGE MY NAME IF I WERE YOU THERE ARE A LOT OF VETS THAT WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A CRACK AT YOU! AND BY THE WAY IT MAKES MY STOMACHE [sic] TURN TO KNOW YOU DISGRACED OUR MILITARY BY WEARING A UNIFORM. I THINK IT MAKES ALL OUR VETERANS SICK TO KNOW YOU SERVED! YOUR RECRUITER MUST OF [sic] BEEN BLIND DEAF [sic] AND DUMB!

Dear Mucho,
Actually, my recruiter was all three – but he was still able to find the "Caps Lock" key on his keyboard. As for changing my name,“Capt Kevin” has apparently already done that.

I couldn’t have hidden during “the fighting” since my service was between wars. But I’ve noticed that you never even claimed to have been in combat, though you allegedly were in a war zone. Hid behind a sick camel the whole time, didn’t you? I told “Capt Kevin” only one of my GWS articles was supported with grant money, and you ignored that as blithely as you ignore all the science surrounding your beloved non-disease. As to the foundation “doe,” I’ll have you know the foundation is neither a female nor a male deer.

Finally, I would roughly translate your e-mail name into "very full of myself." Yes, that and the stuff popping out the back end of the camel you took refuge behind.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Message text written by INTERNET:MUCHOMIO@[ISP omitted]
All your jokes doesnt [sic] hide the fact that your [sic] a coward that hides behind words and sarcasm. i pity you, i see life has neglected to make a man of you. in my book being a cook in the service like you doesnt [sic] count on being a member of the team. if your [sic] so sure we are not ill than why dontyou [sic] spend a year in the areas we were in then tell us how you feel in 2 years, in fact you don’t [sic] even have to do that just take everything you have ever written and burn it im [sic] sure the toxic fumes will have the similar affect!

Dear Mucho Whatever,
I was an airborne combat engineer, Sgt. E-5. You were a feces burner. (How long did you have to train for that, by the way?) It obviously never occurred to you that native Arabs have spent decades living where you claim to have gotten sick, yet somehow they’ve managed to escape all these bizarre symptoms you and your fellows have or claim to have. And since I only allow one response per recipient’s IQ points, you’ve used up your quota. Bye-bye, Mr. FullofMyself.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Too Mucho More of This and I’ll Go Mucho Loco

Dear, [sic] Michael Fumento
I had [sic] received your reply that you had sent Muchomio, He is a GWS Vet [sic]; I also read your butcher attack on the GWS Vets, [sic] Now if you want to prove your side of the story I want to see facts and numbers on this subject, I don't want to hear who you talk to or the phone calls you had made, I want to see true facts on paper, From [sic] reliable sources, also I would like you to explain why we should believe you as just one person out of thousand [sic] of GWS Vet [sic], Now I know you have the freedom of speech on your side, That is Grantees [sic] by the constitution [sic], But then who scaficed [sic] themselves so you can have that freedom, The Veterans [sic] did, the same ones you are trashing so you can profit and line your pockets with, Now besides doing a disservice to our Vets, [sic] I want valid proof, and let me tell you one more thing! Muchomio doesn’t mean full of yourself, it means "A lot of Mine" Which [sic] when you translated [sic] it into English it looses [sic] its meaning, But it means Pride [sic] in who we are, and that my dear sir Means [sic] he has Pride [sic] in being a Veteran [sic], Which is more then you will ever be, you are a traitor to all Veterans [sic] and the United States of America. Your Lack [sic] of Compassion [sic] and education, and most of all the lies that you had created just shows that you are inhumane.

This is unacceptable. Also To Let You Know [sic] I am Not [sic] Muchomio but his sister in law [sic]. Again you claim something that is not true [Huh?], Keep up the work of not doing your homework, you are showing your ignorance once again.
Sincerely,
Ida [omitted]
Proud Wife of a Veteran

Dear Ida,
I have boxes of material on GWS, but I wouldn’t photocopy and send them to you even if I thought you would or could read the studies, statements, and testimony. But if bothered to read my articles, you’d see I give specific references to medical journal studies that find Gulf vets to be no sicker nor likelier to die than comparison vets who didn’t go to the Gulf, Every single one of those articles is accessible on my web site, but you won’t even look at them, If you did, you’d see that all five national panels convened to study the subject have found no GWS, Yes, a couple of these were DoD but the others were not, You, for your part, have nothing on your side but rumor, innuendo, false accusations – and the inability to use periods, Because my GWS pieces involved so much research, they actually paid less on a per-hour or per-piece basis than most of my work – and that’s not much, So money isn’t my motivation, vet-bashing is hardly a good motivation, since I am one despite your claim that I can “never” be one, Gulf vet bashing is hardly my motivation, since I supported the war. Gee, what does that leave, except maybe the motivation to get the truth out?
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

U.S. Veteran Misinformation

Mr. Fumentois;
Frankly, I believe that your treatment of the Gulf War Illness [sic] is unprofessional, all the while you maintain veterans who have it and professionals who work with those who do are simply mistaken.

Your treatment of this issue reminds me so well of the many decades that so many “misinformed people” thought they were dieing [sic] from tobacco use, all the while an “informed” tobacco industry maintained that “there is no scientific proof that tobacco causes cancer.” We know the truth now, but how many people had to die?

Go out and meet vets who have it, mingle with real people, get your head out of the computer screen and check out the real world. Nice article, but it misses the real mark.
Al [omitted]
U.S. Veteran Information
(non-governmental)
http://web.raex.com/~colombo/vets2/index.htm

Dear Al,
Frankly I find it rather unprofessional to criticize work you haven’t bothered to read, despite your calling it a“nice article,” and implying otherwise. You’re the second person to send me a negative GWS letter today who called me “Fumentois”. It’s not an insult; it simply means that you’re only responding to somebody who told you to zap somebody whose name they couldn’t remember how to spell.

Yes, for a long time the tobacco industry denied the danger of their products. But nobody was fooled, either. Hundreds of years ago, people were warned that tobacco was a killer. It just took modern science to show how it worked. Conversely, at one time sneezing was believed to be the body’s effort to expel a demon, hence our modern expression “God bless you!” after a sneeze. Modern science put that to rest, too. Modern science has also spoken on GWS. It doesn’t exist. You might be a bit more open-minded to that if you bothered to do a bit more reading and bit less raving.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Exposure to “Experts” Syndrome

Dear Mr. Fumento,
Are you just uncaring or stupid?

I am a 47 year old 20 ½ year Army retiree who is rated at 50% disability by the VA mostly for left arm damage and intestinal problems including GERD [gastroesophageal reflux disease, a.k.a., heartburn] and annual excision of numerous polyps from my large intestines. I also suffer from PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder] (10%).

I tell you all this because the only advantage I get from being disabled is a “tax free” status of 50% of my normal Army pension that I earned for my 20 ½ years of active duty service. I don’t consider myself a malingerer as stated in your article of “Gulf Lore Syndrome”.

I have been subjected to as many tests as anyone I know and yet I have no single illness (just a bunch of small ones) I believe that syndromes are groups of small illnesses.

I served with the 24th Infantry Division and was decorated with the Bronze Star Medal [sic] and was in the Theater [sic] from 17 August 1990 until 25 March 1991, suffered from amoebic dysentery for 21 days (treated at the 41st CASH [all this is verifiable]). When I returned to the US and home on leave I flew in my DCU [deployment control unit] uniform and was greeted at the airport by my family. EVERYONE WHO HUGGED ME NOW HAS LUPUS! My wife suffered a stroke this May (she is 47), my daughter has it and my sister and my mother! But I must be imagining all this since I test negative for lupus. But I do test positive for MYCOPLASMA FERMENTINS INCOGNITOS [sic], Hep[atitis] B, and Hep C.

Sorry “experts” like you sicken me! You ignore what we fought for and then you have the nerve to call us liars. Perhaps you were an “elite paratrooper” (PFC or SP4?), but you still don’t get it. I don’t usually get this worked up but your article (even if you have found a few malingerers) calls those of us who keep our mouths shut and just deal with it no good liars too.

Have a good life (complements [sic] of combat veterans) but leave us alone, we wont [sic] just sit and read, we will respond just as I am with our own untold stories (I don’t want recognition or my name in your magazine; I just want to be well again).

If you have the nerve to reply, my email is [omitted].
Sincerely,
M.F. [omitted]
Sergeant First Class
US Army (retired)

Dear Sgt.:
Has it occurred to you I might be both uncaring and stupid? Or maybe neither? First, I hardly ignore what you fought for. I supported the war at the time and at the time advocated driving on to Bagdad. Further, I never referred to vets who think they suffer GWS as either “liars” or “malingerers.” Naturally, out of a group that large, some will be. But most have just been convinced that their illness is GWS, while non-vets with identical problems just have regular old medical problems. Most of the rest suffer from illnesses that, while real, are psychosomatic. That means they were induced by suggestion. Virtually all of us are prone to such illness, so it’s hardly disparaging to say some Gulf vets are.

It’s quite possible you have both organic and psychosomatic illness, but it’s hard to take it personally when you say I sicken you when it appears that everything sickens you. In any case, there are certain things we can rule out. You couldn’t transmit lupus to anyone even if you had it yourself, because it’s non-transmissible. Yet you’re implying you’re transmitting something you don’t even have. The bacterium you describe, mycoplasma fermentans (sometimes with “incognitus” added), is fairly common and rarely causes illness. And then you supposedly have two different types of hepatitis and chronically recurring polyps. (I do have no trouble believing you suffer from heartburn. Me too; I got it from watching coverage of the Gulf War on TV). Add it all up: Something in the Gulf theater supposedly made you a transmitter of a disease that’s non-transmissible and that you don’t have in any case, gave you mycoplasma fermentans, gave you two types of a virus and apparently assorted other things. Quite simply, there’s nothing on the face of the earth that could do that.

There’s clearly something wrong with you, and I’m sorry about that. I do believe you can be helped, but not if you continue to belong to that news group of unbalanced people who pass conspiratorial messages back and forth all day long and decided that it would somehow help things if a mass of you flamed me.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Bill’s Buddy or Slick’s Sidekick?

Mr. Fumentois,
I read with increasing dismay your article on the internet at REASONMAG.com. It’s thanks to people with your mindset that our countries [sic] veterans have such a hard time being compensated for their war related illnesses. Let me guess, your [sic] a buddy of Clinton, met him overseas, right?
Sincerely, wife of a veteran.

Dear wife of a veteran,
1. You didn’t read my piece at all, or else you wouldn’t have used the same misspelling of my name that people in your paranoia news group keep employing.

2. I haven’t the least problem with compensation for war-related illnesses. But I signed the same enlistment contract your hubby did, and there was absolutely nothing in there about being compensated for each and every illness that occurs to a vet who served in a war theater, for the rest of his or her life, even if that person never got closer to combat than being stationed on a ship miles out at sea.

3. Gee, how did you know I was a buddy of Clinton’s and that I met him overseas? Unfortunately, he’s been ticked off at me ever since I set him up with that chubby beret-wearing girl with the penchant for married men and cigars.
Sincerely (sorta),
Michael Fumento

Do Not Write about Subjects Which You Have
No Knowledge About

You have obviously no idea what you are talking about, setting out to debunk Gulf War Illness, [sic] saying that it is non-existant [sic]. Why don’t you tell that to the 15,000 Gulf War Veterans [sic] who are dead now. Whey [sic] don’t you talk to Dr. Garth Nicholson [sic] of [sic] Capt. Joyce Riley, or the troops in the hospitals close to death. Or here’s another one, why don’t you take a look at the number of deformed children that are born to Gulf War Vets [sic]. Not only are you completely in denial, Gulf War Illness [sic] in [sic] communicable, thanks to the U.S. Gov’t [sic]. Mycoplasma Fernetans [sic] Incognitus is what you have to thank for that. Please write all you want, but do not write about subjects which you have no knowledge about.
Kind Regards,
Jack [omitted]

Dear Jack,
As a general rule, I don’t speak to dead people – though it does have the advantage of not being interrupted while you’re speaking. In any case, there aren’t 15,000 dead Gulf vets, you just pulled that off some conspiracy web site. On the other hand, I hereby predict that some day ALL Gulf vets will be dead. You will say it’s because of GWS, while I will offer the mundane reason that it’s because everyone eventually dies. As to deformed children, comparisons of offspring of vets who deployed to the Gulf and those who did not have found that there is no difference in birth defect rates, nor miscarriage rates for that matter.

Regarding Dr. Nicolson (the proper spelling), considering that my interview with him is quoted from in the very article you’re criticizing, that seems fairly good evidence that I have talked to him. I’ve also spoken with Joyce Riley, who seems rather heavily influenced by “The X-Files” television show. For example, she’s on record as saying she has a copy of a 1970 government document ordering the development of what later became AIDS. Problem is, the first U.S. AIDS case has been traced back to 1969.

All that said Jack, I will take your advice in not writing on subjects about which I have no knowledge. Just like you.
Kind regards,
Michael Fumento

Those Baffling Bowels

Mr. Fumentois,
You are, without a doubt, the most arrogant and misinformed writer I have been compelled to read. Being a Gulf War Veteran [sic] myself, who proudly served my country in the United States Marine Corps, I see you publish you [sic] beliefs and omit the fact that there might be a reason for our illness. Could it possibly be a combination of several, undefined exposures that have caused this “fallacy.” Is it sheer coincidence that a man’s energy level has gone from very athletic to near nonexistent [sic]? What about liquid bowel movements for almost 9 years. Or joints that ache so terribly that he can't even get out of the bed on some day’s [sic] and need help out almost everyday [sic]? Is it because I am getting old that my eye sight [sic] went from 20/20 to 20/60 in just the six months that I served in the Persian theater? Is it possible that a man with a degree in psychology and a degree in criminal justice be brain washed [sic] by the same media in which he has little respect [sic]? I suggest you ask that man and listen to what he has to say. Your ignorance might be baffled by the truth. If that is not effective, I open this man’s home to you, so you can witness someone diminish [sic] from “Gulf Lore Syndrome.” I have never been so appalled or offended in my life. Were you there?
No Respect Intended,
Richard E. Thacker II
(frmr) Sgt. USMC

Dear Sgt. Thacker,
Thank you for your lengthy letter. I especially enjoyed the part about liquid bowel movements. Was I there? No. So I guess we’d better toss out 99% of all history books, since they were written by people who weren’t there. I’ll really be sad to see that three-part Carl Sandburg biography of Lincoln go into the trash. Now let me ask you, has it ever occurred to you that somebody could get sick, I mean really and truly sick, who did not serve in Operation Desert Storm? Did it occur to you that literally billions of people have sickened and died, all before baby Saddam Hussein had his first liquid bowel movement? Finally, I note that once again you’re using not just a misspelling of my name but one repeatedly employed by my GWS hate-mailers. In other words, you did not see my article (which as one might guess has my name properly spelled) but are responding to a posting in some conspiracy news group to blast the author of a work you’ll never bother to read. By the way, how do you know the Marines raised the flag on the top of Mount Surabachi? Where you there?
No Respect from You Desired,
Michael Fumento
(frmr) Sgt., U.S. Army

Acid-fast Ignoramus

Do you work for Saddam or what? I am glad you have the opportunity to write what you have written because I am sure that in the country you work for they would not allow such hypocrisy.

For the first part of your analogy of Gulf War Vets [sic] and any other vet............ Have you walked in our shoes or are you a rich little college idiot? I kinda figure you have got your life planned for you and got it handed to you on a silver platter. NOW....... as far as the Gulf War Syndrome........I know for a fact that Acid Fast Bacilli and Sarin were used.....NOTICE I SAID “FACT”??????? It was pulled from the puss pockets of GIs [sic] legs and arms and nutsacks and any other places on the body you can think of, and grown in a lab. OH........but that was hush, hush. Just do me a favor and take you place beside Hanoi Jane and Senaid O’Conner [sic] and raise all the hell you want.......I and 10s of thousands like me paid your dues for you. My last words to you are........PERSONALLY, YOU CAN KISS MY ASS.........NOT ON THE LEFT SIDE, NOT ONE THE RIGHT.........BUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE!!
With all the sincerity I can muster,
Randall D. Campbell SSGT. USAF Ret.
PS [sic] Take it personal [sic] if you want to I am just exercising my FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

Dear Randall,
No, I don't work for Saddam. Actually, I work for that guy you always see representing Iraq on TV. His name is something like Terrific Al Disease, but I never can make out that scribbling on my paychecks.

Have I walked in your shoes? Impossible. I heard they were listed as a Superfund site on account of the smell. But I can say this. You may or may not be a Gulf vet, but as an Air Force NCO your only chance of seeing combat was as one of the few enlisted crew members that served on B-52s. If you’d done that, you’d have said so. In other words, you took a job where your chances of being shot at where less than outside my office building in Washington, D.C. I, on the other hand, served four years in an elite Army airborne combat unit. That doesn’t help your point too much, Randall. On the other hand, I certainly am left perplexed by the implication that you’re smarter than me because I have a college degree–earned while I was also becoming an NCO–and you do not.

As for your “FACT??????”, I probably shouldn’t waste my time explaining this but “acid fast bacilli” is not a chemical or biological agent, as you obviously think. It is simply a marker looked for in sputum (not in “nutsacks”, Randall) to determine exposure to the tuberculosis bacterium. In other words, you don’t even know it but you’re saying that TB was used in the Gulf as a biological weapon. It would be harder to think of a dumber such weapon. TB requires a large amount of bacteria to infect someone (the opposite, say, of anthrax), most of the people it does infect never exhibit any symptoms, and even those who do exhibit symptoms take a long time to develop them. What good is a weapon that leaves most of those exposed asymptomatic and doesn’t work until the war is over? Do you think that this may be an alternative explanation for why nobody but you has made a big deal out of some of the 700,000 Gulf War vets having tested positive for TB? Maybe you should keep“hush, hush” about this brilliant observation of yours, lest somebody think you're not playing with a full set of brain cells.

As to Jane Fonda and Sinaid O’Connor, I dislike them as much as anyone; but remember Randall, spell checkers have trouble with names.

As to your offer to engage in consensual homosexual activity with you, thanks but I really must decline.

Finally, I've read the Constitution. It turns out you’re actually exercising your FREEDOM TO BE AN IDIOT! But no, I don't take it personally – I mean,“personal.”

With all the sympathy I can muster (not much in your case),
Michael Fumento
Sgt., USA (Ret., but I still have a life)

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Sir,
I have read many reports, personal, professional, medical on GWS and never have I seen anything such as you have written and claimed today. Good work. Have you tried THE SUN, THE GLOBE, THE INQUIRER [sic]? They are looking for your style. I do not see this as legitimate. Medical? Where have you been? True, there have always some out to “beat the system” but not all. GWS has just been declared a specific entity.

Those institutions you listed which gave such glowing, trusted scientific reports NIH, Pentagon, Dept of the Military. Does this not strike you as the Justice Dept. investigating itself? I really wouldn’t see where the guy you interviewed would be having any problem. He could just upchuck and folks would pay to see that glowing stuff. [The reference is to Brian Martin, the vet who became a darling of the media and congressional demagogues despite such bizarre claims as spewing glowing vomit five days a week for ten straight months during physical training.] Shame others weren’t so lucky. I think I would watch what I call myself if I were you.
Sincerely,
Jamye [omitted]

Dear Jamye,
Considering it’s been over a month since I’ve published the least thing on GWS, you’re kind of already off to a bad start when you refer to “such as you’ve written and claimed today.”

If you have read many medical reports on GWS, you know that they keep coming to the same “inconvenient” conclusion, that Gulf vets are no sicker than vets who didn’t deploy to the Gulf. Somehow you seem to have missed that, while simply writing off the panels that did review them as paid liars. To say the alleged syndrome “has just been declared a specific entity,” is a curious choice of words. That it even has a name makes it an entity; so what? That this is the best you can do speaks volumes. Moreover, it’s interesting that you didn’t bother to use just the five or so words required to say who it was that declared it a specific whatever. Could it be because you just made this up?

You use the grand conspiracy theory to dismiss the conclusions of no fewer than five panels, all of which have concurred with what I, alleged reporter for the National Enquirer, have said. Since they’re government-organized, you assert, they can’t be trusted. Yet many government-organized panels have blasted the government over the past two centuries. One such declared the Warren Report commission was wrong, that there had been multiple gunmen in the JFK assassination–a conclusion most experts think is looney. Why would panels suddenly stop criticizing the government? Moreover the GWS panels’ conclusions and supporting data are published, whereas yours is presumably pulled off www.paranoia.com.

And by the way Jamye, there’s no such thing as the“Department of the Military.”

Finally, I’m sorry if I didn’t give your letter the respect you think it deserved. Maybe you should send it as a letter to the editor to somebody who will take you more seriously. You know, like THE SUN, THE GLOBE, THE INQUIRER.
Sincerely,
Michael Fumento

Footnote: Long after the letters to“Michael Fumentois” stopped coming, somebody finally figured out how it got started. The identification block of my articles naturally begin with: “Michael Fumento is a . . . ” “Fumento is” became “Fumentois.” As you’ve probably guessed by now, we’re not dealing with a bunch of Albert Einsteins here.

Introduction to Hate Mail and Other Hate Mail Volumes

A Review of Michael Fumento's Hate Mail

Fumento Flambé